Your Questions

Below are some of the questions posed by participants during the conferences conducted by Dan Low. We hope they would give you a better understanding of our method and what goes on during the Training Sessions.

Are the sessions oriented uniquely towards attaining our objectives?

No. We can use the tools and concepts exposed during the sessions to create a better quality of life; reduce stress, worries or simply to feel good. But during the sessions sound management concepts which can be applied to better manage a company or team are also presented. We provide tools for simple and effective time management; for developing our creativity; for strategic reasoning; the establishment of values. Client and job prospecting methods – and a lot more. The concepts developed are profound and the sessions treat the key problems inherent in our professional and personal lives.

Must I have an objective before following the sessions? I wake up in the morning feeling gloomy. I'm not motivated. Why is this?

No, you do not need to have an objective before following the sessions but you do need to want to change your present situation. You are not motivated because you probably lack an objective.

What you could do to help change your present situation is put the 3Ps into action. 3Ps stands for Place-People-Project. This is how you do it: Choose a quiet place where you would not be disturbed. And start daydreaming!

First, think of a place or places you have been to in the past where you felt really good. We all have terrific memories filed away in our subconscious. Take your time to fully recall the events and relive them. After a few minutes of pleasant feelings, think of a place you have not been to yet, but where you would love to go to. Then imagine yourself in that place, or preparing for the trip.

Next, think of people you met in the past where you enjoyed their company and felt extremely good. Then imagine yourself in the company of people you have not met yet but would love to know. We all have desires in meeting certain people. Well this is the moment to imagine yourself in their company.

Finally, think of a project or task you were involved with in the past that gave you immense satisfaction. It could be some small thing you did that brought you joy and happiness in its accomplishment. Then think of some task or project you would like to get yourself involved with and see yourself actually getting excited and motivated looking for ways to fulfill them.

After your few minutes of daydreaming you forget it and go about your daily life as usual. Do the 3Ps twice a week or whenever you feel like daydreaming again and you will be surprised at how you feel waking up during the week!

Ever heard a great tune or song in the morning that followed you all day long? If you haven't tried it: turn on a piece of music you really like and listen to it before you start the day. The 3Ps has the same effect. Try it, see how you feel.

Is it really possible to have results with only 4 sessions?

If the person really wants to do something for him or herself, yes. But if the person is not motivated, even a hundred sessions will have no effect. Our training is progressive. Participants are given exercises where they can practice and experience results immediately. Why this rapidity? Because we go to the roots of the problems encountered. When something does not work they will know why it isn't working and correct it immediately. Of course, they also have access to a hotline for very serious cases.

Most of the time if a person does not obtain results he or she is not adhering to the RDA principle: Realization+Decision+Action. Let's imagine you're in a shop watching a salesman demonstrating a software program and you're thinking : "Boy, this is really magic! This would be great for my work. I could have it installed in my computer!". Now, this is Realization. It's discovery. It's being aware of what you can do – with a product or a person. Hey, I can use this person in my company or, I could use this thing for my project or for myself.

Then you need to pass on to the second phase: Decision. You'll have to make a serious decision to acquire it. Without making a serious decision to acquire it you have nothing to work with.

Now, what happens after you've bought the software program? Did you try it out? Did you run the software you just purchased regularly to enjoy the benefits demonstrated by the salesman? If you did, you've understood the RDA principle and put knowledge into action, to obtain results.

But what happens if you stopped at the Realization phase and made no decision to purchase the software? What happens if you stopped at the Decision phase after having purchased the software? You will simply get zero results or benefits if you don't pass on to the last phase: Action!

Many have admitted that they stop short of the 3 phases. Chris Argyris in his book "Personality and Organization" wrote: "Executives have been observed to analyze beautifully and verbally solve a case that focuses on 'understanding the other person' and five minutes later show little or no ability to use this knowledge in a hot argument with the man across the table.

Same thing with our method : if you don't apply it, you will have no results. But in general our trainees are motivated to try the exercises, or motivate themselves when they see the results obtained by the others.

What's the difference between your method and other methods?

The objectives are the same, but there is a marked difference in the approach. I would illustrate it like this: At the dinner table you are offered different types of salad. But your eyes couldn't tell the difference as all the dishes contain the same ingredients, except the sauce, which lay hidden below the lettuce, cucumbers, tomatoes and onions. To know the difference you'll need to stick your tongue in it. We feel our method is highly complementary to all other types of training. In fact, we encourage trainees to open themselves to different types of disciplines and concepts. In other words, not to deprive themselves of the variety of delicious sauces that are available.

If the results are immediate after the sessions why are participants offered the possibility to refollow the sessions freely?

Simply because the contents exposed are extremely rich and we may not be able to capture everything that is said in one go. The concepts are simple and powerful, and we go right to the point. But there are several levels of understanding.

Are there any physical exercises involved in your sessions?

Not really, but participants are given mental exercises during the sessions that involve the use of eyes, ears and their physical senses, to be fully in the present moment. No high kicks or leapfrogs in the air if that is what you mean by physical exercises.

In fact it's important to exercise your eye muscles so that you can focus and be more conscious. You are less likely to be attacked by negative thoughts when you are in a conscious state. We must understand that there are three "Worlds" in which we have access to: the 1st, 2nd and 3rd World.

Unfortunately 99% of people remain in the 3rd World and are not familiar with the 1st and 2nd World. And in the 3rd World there exist 3 levels or states. The 1st level is a state of comprehension, the 2nd a state of confusion, and the 3rd a state of total spontaneity. And often you find yourself in this 3rd level and you are at the mercy of random thoughts, positive or negative that zigzag in your head.

These thoughts are triggered involuntarily by outside stimuli. And if you are not fast enough to move to the 2nd World, which is a state of consciousness, a Zen state (absence of judgement, analysis or thoughts) then you get hit by all kinds of feelings and emotions. To gain access to the 2nd World you have to use your eyes to focus on what you see. If you are able to do this without judgement or analysis, you are in a conscious state. This is what participants to our sessions learn to practice, by controlling some of the thoughts which are producing negative feelings or emotions.

Can you give us other examples on how you control your thoughts?

Here's an anecdote: I was invited to diner years ago by an investment banker intrigued by the notion of the 2nd World. He wanted a demonstration of how thoughts can be controlled. So after diner I pointed to the empty bottle of Mouton Rothschild on the table and asked if he would like to squeeze more drops of wine into his glass.

He was perplexed at first but finally agreed to do it. I told him to pick up the bottle and count the number of drops that would fall into his glass and to focus 100% with his eyes on the drops. He did that until every drop was counted – 23 to be exact!

Then I told him to shake the bottle because I felt there were still additional drops in the bottle. At this moment his face changed color. It went from a nice rosy pink to beetroot red! Though he managed to shake two more drops into his glass he was now feeling very uneasy and embarrassed.

What happened? Why did his face change color all of a sudden? Why the sudden feeling of embarrassment and discomfort? He was no more in a conscious state (2nd World) and focusing on the drops but in the 3rd level of the 3rd World and being kicked and harassed by two Monkeys: "Everybody's looking at you!", "What are they going to think?"…

This is only a minor example of how you can shift worlds or control your feelings and not be attacked by your thoughts. As long as your eyes are 100% focused on something and not distracted you stand a good chance that your mind would be free of vagabonding thoughts.

Try this exercise: Put a vase on top of your television set the next time you plan to watch a thriller or horror movie. Before watching the film you also want to put a cup in front of you and your favorite magazine besides you. From time to time get out of the movie and fix your eyes on the vase above the TV, or the cup, or the magazine besides you. If you can do this you will also be able to stop thoughts like "Say something, do something" from forcing you to speak when there is sudden silence in a conversation during diner with friends or colleagues. Or stop emotions or fear in certain situations.

Passing to the 2nd World is one way to rapidly stop our thoughts - and our emotions. But of course, we also use other means, such as simulation and strategic reasoning in order to reduce their impact.

Does this mean we will find ourselves with no emotions?

No. We will simply be less affected by negative emotions!

I have strong emotions. I mean I'm very emotive. Is it negative?

It is OK to have emotions. With our method - which we call Self-Combat - we simply choose not to let negative emotions or feelings hurt us. Negative emotions have tremendous impact on our immune system. Medical studies over the last thirty years have proven without a doubt that they are responsible for triggering all kinds of illnesses and accidents, including road accidents. If you feel stressed and fearful of being late for an appointment you are going to unconsciously slam your foot down on the accelerator!

The range of human emotions can also influence the onset and course of disease, warns Dr. Douglas LaBier in his book "Modern Madness". He says negative emotions can diminish disease-fighting white blood cells and trigger the release of adrenal gland hormones and neurotransmitters, which affect many body processes.

Now, negative emotions are triggered by negative thoughts or perceptions and positive emotions are triggered by positive thoughts or perceptions. No thoughts, no emotions or feelings. So we need to identify those thoughts that can cause you havoc and disarm them through strategic reasoning. This is one of the things we do during the sessions: identify and simulate situations where such thoughts are likely to be triggered and disarm them before they hit us.

Do we always succeed? No. But enough times so as not to be effected adversely when we find ourselves in difficult situations.

Can the concepts change a hostile work environment? When people attack my opinion I feel extremely vulnerable and aggressive in return. How can Self-Combat tools improve or change this situation?

In this case you would need to learn how to master illusion. Your perception of the attack is an illusion. The person "attacking" you is simply sending you a packet of information expressed in a hostile way. He or she could have delivered you that packet of info wrapped in a nice fancy box and you may not have considered it as an attack. Unfortunately we have no control over how people package their infos. But we do have the power to perceive it the way we want. It is like seeing the bottle half full or half empty.

We train problem kids in the Paris suburbs to perceive that when their mums scream at them they should understand that mums love their kids and worry silly that they might find their kids in trouble. Mums wouldn't worry and spend all that energy getting mad if they didn't care for them. So whenever these kids get yelled at they are perceiving and thinking in their heads: "Hey, mum, I know you love me. But don't worry, be happy, I'm OK". They don't feel "attacked" anymore because they have changed their illusion or perception of the situation. They choose to see that packet of infos differently, through strategic reasoning.

We train CEOs to perceive that in every crisis there are also great opportunities. Now it's their choice to look whichever way they want. The art of Self-Combat is about choice. And to have choice is to have freedom.

Instead of perceiving your work environment as being hostile, why not see it as a great place to swipe ideas. It would be dead boring if everyone agrees passively and there are no strong convictions or ideas shooting about - I mean no turbo-packaged infos racing around.

Who else is teaching Self-Combat apart from you?

Just me and my associate, Patricia Sommier. It would take 8 years' solid training to be able to fully conduct Self-Combat sessions. All the concepts have to be delivered straight from the guts after having tested them over the years. However, we encourage participants to share the tools they have mastered with people around them. This is called Invisible Leadership. It enables them to create their own positive environment.

Most participants who practice Self-Combat would prefer to live their lives and set other objectives than teach.

What prompted your research and creation of Self-Combat?

I came across a paragraph in a book that challenged me to re-examine my own thinking and convictions. In that small paragraph was a rare admission by Dr. Timothy Leary who had just joined the Department of Social Relations at Harvard University. I fully felt the same as he did. Here is what he said:

"I would like to share with you some of the historical background of my immobilization as a psychological scientist. As I look back I can see that there are three stages of my own ignorance. The first, which was by far the most happy, you could call the stage of innocent ignorance when I was possessed with the notion that there were some secrets of human nature, there were some laws and regularities, some cause and effect relationships, and that through study, through experiences, through reading, some day I would share these secrets and be able to apply my knowledge of these regularities of human behaviour to help other people.

In the second stage, which might be called the period of illusion of non-ignorance, came the disturbing discovery that, although on the one hand I knew that I didn't know what the secret was, suddenly I discovered that on the other hand people were looking to me as though they thought I might know the secret or be closer to the secret than they… None of the research that I did worked nor did any of my activities provide any secret, but again I could always say, 'Well, we didn't have enough cases', or 'we must improve the methodology', and there were many other statements which I am sure you are familiar with. One can postpone the moment of painful discovery but eventually the unhappy truth finally becomes apparent – that although many people may be looking to you and listening to you – you have patients and students and you're going to PTA meetings and they are looking to you for the secret – still eventually you begin to think maybe, maybe you don't know what you're talking about."

This is in fact a rare and revealing admission of doubts that few psychotherapists dare state but many have felt, wrote Dr. Thomas Harris, the author of the book in "The Book of Choice".

My own experience at the time has been like helping others find a black cat in a dark room. You imagine the scene? To help others I had to first help myself! So I started by asking "Dan, why are you reacting this way" each time I caught myself behaving irrationally. Eventually, out go all the fancy theories about human behaviour and in, come common sense and strategic reasoning. And this, essentially is what Self-Combat is all about. Common sense and strategic reasoning – going beyond what seems obvious, because Monkeys (that's the way we call negative thoughts) have very short vision! Our own Monkeys are completely irrational.

"An ape lives in his feelings, is his feeling, and possesses nothing which can detach itself from his feelings – in short, that an ape completely identifies himself with his subconscious images. Alas, most men also live in this state", declared Dr. Rolf Alexander, M.D., in his book "The Power of the Mind".

Self-Combat is also a mix of Eastern and Western perceptions. I felt at the time that Western psychology wasn't enough to deal with those Monkeys. So I looked elsewhere to martial arts philosophy for the complement. Hence the creation of such concepts as NoBagMan, MultiBagMan and OneBagMan.

In the West we pride ourselves in filling up the Bag, our subconscious. The more there is in the Bag the more intelligent, cultivated or important we feel. In martial arts or Eastern philosophy the more you empty your Bag the more useful that Bag will be, to receive new information. So, the question is: To fill or not to fill? To be or not to be, a NoBagMan? This is just an example of conflicting duality or management of paradox that are discussed during the sessions.

Who are the people who follow the sessions?

The majority are people who want to attain their personal or professional objectives or better their quality of life.

Did they succeed in attaining their objectives?

For the majority, yes. Because they understood the RDA principle: Realization/Decision/Action.

To get to our objectives, whatever they may be, we all have to pass through the psychological states controlled by Monkeys and Gorillas (heavyweight thoughts). Those who succeeded were able to disarm them on their way to getting what they want. To do that they were ready to face themselves.

Did you know that Inserm, the French Institute of Health and Medical Research reported 140,000 attempted suicides each year in France amongst those between the ages of 15 to 24? In the last 45 years suicide rates have increased by 60% world-wide. Suicide is now among the three leading causes of death among those aged 15-44 (both sexes) reports WHO, the World Health Organization. Those who are not even aware that these Monkeys exist stand little chance in making it to their objectives. They get slaughtered in the 2nd and 3rd level of the 3rd World.

Can my spouse or colleagues attend the sessions at the same time as I?

We do have couples and work colleagues who attend the sessions together, and those who follow apart. It's your choice.

What if I miss a session?

It wouldn't be a problem. You will get a chance to enroll in the following sessions.

You also give in-house corporate seminars. Are they available only for top executives?

No. We have special in-house seminars designed for management committees, but also for marketing, communications, finance or sales departments or teams. For example, our sales and management training program is spread over a 9-month period with the objective of doubling the annual growth rate. And participants share Self-Combat concepts including our time management tool Sting the Bull with 3 Bees with people throughout their units. So it is not only available to top executives though some of them do attend our Interactive Sessions.

Are all the concepts exposed in the book?

No, not all Self-Combat concepts are exposed in the book. Concepts such as 3Ps, You're not the Bag, NoBagMan, etc... It would be too dense. Hence, only the basic and some advanced concepts were developed. The Interactive Sessions go much further. On top, they are live: you can ask all your questions, and they are a formidable practice ground.

For more information on the book, click here. Or testimonials, click here.

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